Episode 6: Crickett by Ambivalently Yours

*Content Warning: Discussions about Sexual Assault

Welcome to another episode of Rebelliously Tiny. Here’s this week’s question: “I'm going to uni and one of my friends got raped at the beginning of the year. It makes me sick to my stomach that such a high percentage of girls at uni get raped and yet they refuse to do anything about it. She went to the college counselors and the police. Everyone made it seem like it was her fault. The garbage male got her extremely drunk and she thought they were friends, but then he took her to his room and assaulted her. I want to help but it makes me so mad I dont want to scare her.”  

 

This week, we talk with Crickett, the Public Education Coordinatorat the Sexual Assault Centre of Hamilton, Ontario (SACHA), who helps us reflect upon and answer this question about sexual assault. It is a tough question that outlines the harsh realities of the prevalence of sexual violence in our culture. Our discussion with Crickett gives us hope as it highlights the important work being done to help support survivors and combat the systems and structures that enable this violence to happen. Crickett also shares tips for friends of survivors on how to be supportive, and explains the extreme importance of “loving, trusting, and believing” each other. We tackle topics such as how the media misrepresents and blames victims of sexual assault and the failure of institutions meant to protect them. Lastly, we highlight the importance of self-care for survivors, friends of survivors, and anyone practicing resistance in the current political climate.

To learn more about SACHA please visit: sacha.ca
Facebook: @sachamilton
Twitter: @SACHA_tweets
Youtube: SACHAbroadcast

A podcast by Ambivalently Yours
Co-produced by Hannah McCasland

Recorded at (with their technical and financial support) Oboro Arist-Run Center in Montreal
Technical support: Stéphane Claude
Music: Greg Barkley

Episode 5: Noé by Ambivalently Yours

*Content Warning: discussions of fat shaming and fatphobia, ableism

Welcome to the 5th episode of Rebelliously Tiny. Here’s this week’s question: “im a bigger girl and i feel like shit about it and people always make comments on my weight but its like not their buisness, you know? they say their "worried for my health" but really they dont care at all they just want me to stick to their standards of whats beautiful…”  

This week, we talk with Noé about issues of body-shaming that affect women, people of color and gender nonconforming individuals in particular. We also discuss how these issues intersect with disability and pain and the assumptions people make about “health” based on outward appearance. Noé has a lot of insight from their personal experiences, and Ambivalently Yours can relate, from her time working as a designer in the fashion industry. Both are familiar with the shame involved in the way women’s bodies are policed and constantly measured against a specific beauty standard. We discuss the pressures to lose some mystical amount of weight to be happy, or to buy outfits or makeup in order to be a version of “beautiful” imposed by society. Noé also talks about the support that can come from friendships and communities, as well as the importance of language and their decision to reclaim the word “fat.”

Follow Noé’s work at @fatkittyrising on Facebook and Tumblr.

A podcast by Ambivalently Yours
Co-produced by Hannah McCasland

Recorded at (with their technical and financial support) Oboro Arist-Run Center in Montreal
Technical support: Stéphane Claude
Music: Greg Barkley

Episode 4: Celia by Ambivalently Yours

*Content Warning: discussions of mental health issues; online misogyny.

Welcome to the fourth episode of Rebelliously Tiny. Here’s this week’s question: “I have severe anxiety and it's hard for me to do some daily tasks. People roll their eyes at me everyday and tell me to get over it. No one understands that my anxiety is like this demon on my shoulder. I am strong and anxiety does not control me.”

This week, we speak with vlogger, writer and feminist philosopher Celia Edell about mental health. Our question is about anxiety, and Celia has a lot of great advice, including tips about how to get help and what to do when people tell you to “just get over it.” She tells us a little bit about her personal experiences and how they have shaped her perspectives on mental health. We talk about different coping mechanisms like listening to podcasts or watching Gilmore Girls and Teen Mom, and the power of a good cry. Ambivalently Yours and Celia also share experiences of online hate and criticisms, and strategies for ignoring hateful comments. Finally, towards the end of the episode, Zhi Xi, who you may have met in our episode last week, asks Celia for some advice. 

Learn more about Celia’s work at @ceedling on Instagram, YouTube, Twitter and Tumblr.

A podcast by Ambivalently Yours
Co-produced by Hannah McCasland

Recorded at (with their technical and financial support) Oboro Arist-Run Center in Montreal
Technical support: Stéphane Claude
Music: Greg Barkley

Episode 3: Zhi Xi by Ambivalently Yours

*Content Warning: discussions of racism and sexism, mentions of police violence

Welcome to the third episode of Rebelliously Tiny. Here’s this week’s question: “Hi, so as a high school student, I come in contact with misogyny, rape jokes, and overall sexist things quite often. I do my best to stop the person making the comment and tell them why what they said was wrong, but most people just call me a crazy bitch. I'm known in my school as the loud mouthed feminist. Why are people, high schoolers esp, so scared to learn about feminism versus treating it like a joke?”  

 

This week, our guest Zhi Xi talks with us about high school. We question whether feminism is taken seriously as a topic in high school, why it should be, and where else teenagers might have the chance to learn about feminism and social justice. Zhi Xi talks about useful spaces on the Internet and social media where much of this learning occurs. She also touches upon the complicated aspects of celebrities using their platform to raise awareness about social justice issues and why feminism has to be intersectional. Ambivalently Yours and Zhi Xi relate about embracing feminism and the struggles that can come along with being labeled the “feminist killjoy.”  

A podcast by Ambivalently Yours
Co-produced by Hannah McCasland

Recorded at (with their technical and financial support) Oboro Arist-Run Center in Montreal
Technical support: Stéphane Claude
Music: Greg Barkley

Episode 2: Lux by Ambivalently Yours

*Content Warning: discussions of racism, police violence

Welcome to episode 2 of Rebelliously Tiny.Here’s this week’s question: “hi sweetheart, i need to talk about something. a few months ago, i started questioning my sexuality because i had a crush on one of my same-sex friends. i had tried to discover my sexuality a couple times before, but i kept thinking that i was straight. now, im not sure. my main problem is that i dont know whether my thoughts are real, or if im just doing this because of one crush. ive already talked about this to some friends who are lgbt+ themselves, but im so scared that i might just be imagining all of this, and that i offended my friends whose feelings are actually real. i wouldnt have a problem with being gay, bi, pan, straight or whatever; i just have a problem with not knowing if what i feel is real. thanks for listening, i love your blog a lot!!”  

We were lucky to have Lux help us answer our question this week. Ambivalently Yours met Lux at a drawing workshop, and has since been inspired by their use of social media to start conversations. We talk with Lux about sexuality, race, gender, and how to navigate difficult, intimate and important discussions about tough issues. We learn a lot from Lux and along the way we laugh about Gilmore Girls and first crushes.

A podcast by Ambivalently Yours
Co-produced by Hannah McCasland

Recorded at (with their technical and financial support) Oboro Arist-Run Center in Montreal
Technical support: Stéphane Claude
Music: Greg Barkley

Episode 1: Hannah by Ambivalently Yours

Welcome to the first episode of Rebelliously Tiny, a podcast where each week a special guest helps artist Ambivalently Yours respond to one of the thousands of personal questions she’s received on social media.

Here’s this week’s question: “I'm at the point in my life where I have to absolutely grow up. Yet I don't know where I want to go or what I want to do. And the thought of the future terrifies me because I'm expected to be all sorted already but how am I supposed to when I don't even know what I want myself? I just feel like I can’t breathe- the pressure is overwhelming and I wish I knew what to do with my life as it moves on forward. I wanna be happy with my long term decisions, I just don't want to make them right now.”

This week we introduce Co-Producer Hannah McCasland, who worked behind the scenes with Ambivalently Yours to help put this podcast together. While researching questions to use on the show, one of them in particular resonated with Hannah and how she was feeling at the time, as a student about to graduate from college and step out into an uncertain future. In this episode, we talk about the pressures of decision-making, talking to your family about your plans, and how different privileges and identities can play into these issues. We also discuss Ambivalently Yours’ artistic career and try to figure out how to reconcile our passions with our practical circumstances.

A podcast by Ambivalently Yours
Co-produced by Hannah McCasland

Recorded at (with their technical and financial support) Oboro Arist-Run Center in Montreal
Technical support: Stéphane Claude
Music: Greg Barkley

Welcome to Rebelliously Tiny by Ambivalently Yours

Welcome to Rebelliously Tiny, a podcast about the subtle emotions that draw us together. For the last five years, artist Ambivalently Yours has been exploring her ambivalence and feminist questions by posting pink drawings on her Tumblr blog. Eventually, people started responding to the work by sharing their personal stories and asking her for advice, often anonymously. Since Ambivalently Yours felt in no way qualified to tell anyone what to do, she began answering these messages with ambivalent drawings. Today, she has over 1000 messages waiting in her inbox, and has decided to ask for a little help responding to them. Each episode of this podcast will focus on one question, which Ambivalently Yours will discuss with someone she admires and trusts. Their goal will not be to provide answers, but to explore the tender emotions we are often told are unimportant, while highlighting the value of talking to each other instead of about each other. Each episode will also feature a drawing inspired by both the initial question and the conversation it sparked. In a world that teaches us that strength is loud, harsh and masculine, this is a place for those of us whose struggle is both impossibly large and rebelliously tiny. 

A podcast by Ambivalently Yours
Co-produced by Hannah McCasland

Recorded at (with their technical and financial support) Oboro Arist-Run Center in Montreal
Technical support: Stéphane Claude
Music: Greg Barkley